I'm Dying Inside
by roundin3rd
Summary: Ok, I'm hooked. Another song fic, this time it's Tony Rich Project's Nobody Knows, PJ of course. r


Thunder splintered trough the otherwise silent muggy and rainy night in Boston. The thunder could not be matched to another form of loud noise elsewhere.  
  
"Pacey, I'm so tired of you treating me like crap!" "I can't stand it when we go out and you don't, it's like I'm not even there!" Joey yelled. "That is pure crap Joey and you know it!" Pacey screamed. "You know what?" "Why are we even arguing, there is nothing to argue about!" Pacey yelled. "Oh, please, Pacey this has been going on too long for me fix this!" "Fix what?" "I can't do this anymore!" Joey screamed.  
  
***  
  
Lightning flashed and flickered off of Joey's tear-stained face. She sat in front of her window thinking about how the petty argument ended in heartbreak. There was no point, no point of why they broke up, but inside there was a reason, she just didn't want to believe it. Joey didn't want to believe that this was the right thing to do. She still needed him.  
  
***  
I pretended I'm glad you went away  
  
These four walls closing more everyday  
  
And I'm dyin' inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Pacey flung open his apartment door, and with a blank mind walked through the dark hall and fell face down onto his bed. A roaring crack of thunder made him jump up. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the picture of them on his nightstand. Pacey leaned over and picked it up. He remembered when it was taken, they had asked a stranger to take it in front of the frog pond at Boston Common. It was a beautiful spring day and the sunlight perfectly accentuated Joey's stunning features. There was a pit inside of his stomach and his heart beat painfully. He still needed her.  
  
***  
Like a clown I put on a show  
  
The pain is real even if nobody knows  
  
And I'm cryin' inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
The apartment never seemed emptier than at that moment. Pacey would come over late Saturday nights and they would fall asleep on each other's shoulder's watching movies and she missed that desperately. Still, Joey stopped herself from reaching toward the phone and telling him that what happened was all just a mistake. She was stuck, her heart telling her one thing and her mind saying another.  
  
***  
Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say  
  
How could I let my angel get away  
  
Now my world is just a tumblin' down  
  
I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around  
  
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad  
  
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had  
  
And I'm missin' you  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Hours passed and Pacey lay on his bed, unable to fall asleep. He was dying inside and with the sun setting and the sky getting darker, he grew darker also. The words he yelled at her were racing through his mind and Pacey found it hard to believe that they escaped his mouth. He would take them back in a second if he could. The longer Pacey thought to himself the clearer it became that he still needed her. He still wanted to hold her hand when they walked and wanted to have her fall asleep on his shoulder when they rented movies, he had to get her back.  
  
***  
  
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two  
  
And I'm nobody without someone like you  
  
I'm tremblin' inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
I lie awake it's a quarter past three  
  
I'm screamin' at night if I thought you'd hear me  
  
Yeah, my heart is callin' you  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Joey sat cold in her empty apartment, not knowing what to do. The window in her heart was open, and there was nothing to see inside of it. For a flash moment her heart beat out over her mind and she wanted him back. Joey ran to grab her heavy coat, and to go and get Pacey back. She dashed outside and didn't even to bother thinking about the car with Pacey's apartment just four blocks away.  
  
***  
  
How blue can I get, you could ask my heart  
  
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart  
  
A million words couldn't say just how I feel  
  
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still  
  
Pacey waited for a split second before grabbing his car keys and rushing out the door. He needed Joey back, desperately. The rain was coming down in buckets as Pacey jumped into his Honda. Pacey tried to start the old car numerous times and it wouldn't turn over. "Come on, come on!" "Dammit!" He thumped his head on the steering wheel, and quickly decided to pursue the other alternative. He jumped out of the car and sprinted as fast as he could down Clinton Street, the rain nearly blinding him.  
  
The nights are lonely the days are so sad  
  
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had  
  
And I'm missin' you  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
***  
  
Joey splashed through deep puddles and shielded her face from the down pouring rain as best as she could. Then an invisible sight stopped her in her tracks.  
  
Yeah, Ohh, uhh, whoa, omom,  
  
Nobody, nobody, but me.....  
  
Tomorrow morning I'm hittin' the dusty road  
  
Gonna find you where ever, ever you might go  
  
And I'm gonna unload my heart  
  
And hope you come back to me  
  
***  
  
Thunder cracked and it felt like Pacey was sitting right next to the toppled pins in a bowling alley. Lightning flashed and lit up an image in front of him. He stopped and questioned whether his eyes were playing tricks on him. She was there. Through the rain and the darkness their eyes met and Pacey slowly, reached over and pinched his arm. He felt it, and Joey walked closer to him.  
  
"Pacey, what, what are you doing?" Pacey frantically searched for words. "Jo, I-I had to come and apologize." "Apologize for everything I said because I didn't mean any of it." "Pace, neither did I-I," "Joey," Pacey interrupted as rain dripped down his face, "I sat alone, wasting away in my own pity and loneliness and realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life." "This isn't about the past or why we even had an argument in the first place." He paused, then smiled. "I ran to you as fast as I could."  
  
"Yeah, I slipped a couple of times and got drenched by passing cars." Joey smiled and wiped the raindrops away from her eyes. "But you know what?" "There was only one thing on my mind, you."  
  
"You, Josephine Potter, the girl who opened my eyes and led me down a path of happiness and hardships and true love, need me." "I need you Joey, you can't leave me." He moved closer to her. "I love you." Pacey whispered.  
  
Joey looked into his brown eyes, took his hand and whispered, "I love you too, Pacey." "And I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean any of it either." "I just want to start over."  
  
Lightning flashed followed by long rolls of thunder. Joey gasped and buried her head in Pacey's chest. Pacey smiled, "Come on, let's get someplace warm, and maybe we'll stop at the video store on the way there." Joey looked up at smiled at him. "That sounds like a great plan Pace."  
  
Yeah, sad when the nights are lonely...  
  
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad  
  
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had  
  
And I'm missin' you  
  
And nobody knows it but me... 


End file.
